Monday, June 9, 2014

THE LAST DRAWING PATH


THE LAST DRAWING PATH
A sad evening of a sad Friday in the parking lot, just in front of the Eiffel Tower, in a car and forgotten in the darkest of the glove had a little sad pencil was called Minencio. His routine was overwhelmingly boring, and  was for this reason that the small Minencio was sad; Minencio expected every morning hoping that the driver used him, but always  for some reason the driver choose the Sir Pen, and even Miss Coquette pen, never he.
The sad Minencio ever felt more desolate and helpless watching the beautiful Eiffel Tower that was his only companion; always marveled at the greatness and incredible design so perfect and promised himself that sometime be as good as the designer pencil that created  to Miss Eiffel, but despite everything he promised, the driver never would use.... For this reason he started drawing on a napkin a small portraits of the Eiffel Tower, but all left him badly for lack of support to help him and he despairing, cross out his drawings.
A sad Saturday morning, Mr. Pen noting the desperation of the Sad Minencio decided to approach him and watched with admiration the great drawings so carefully to Minencio, but whenever it was wrong for the slightest mistake simply ripped him. Mr. Pen, offended whenever Minencio damaged sketch, came to him and rebuked him, telling that he had the power to correct their mistakes, while for finer pens that they were not. Minencio realizing first in the eraser that he had in his head decided to use this, however he still lack the support the one hand to guide him. So spend all their sad weekend, drawing and erasing and drawing again wearing out and literally running out more and fainting at the end. The man find a nice drawing of the Eiffel tower on the floor of his car and was surprised when saw that was missing the tip and decided to finish it. He knew that if he used a pen, the mistaken could not fix and reminded the poor sad pencil Minencio that he had in his glove.

In a not very sad Monday morning, very early, the driver frantically searched the depths of the glove, groping blindly without finding what he wanted, but the pecil or fewer of he not very sad pencil was, with the rapid pulse knew that what the diver wanted was him. With his latest effort, but with the helping hand of the driver finally finished the beautiful drawing of the Eiffel Tower, making practically a work of art, which will last forever in the memory of Minencio, who with his last drawing path wrote in part below the paper "Made By Minencio"

4 comments:

  1. haha your story is very witty and the name of the pencil is very funny ... I really liked your story ^^

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  2. "Mr. Pen" Jajaja what name, i loved the drawing and also the story, was creative, and teh Eiffel tower (OMG!!!)

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  3. MIstakes:

    - "driver choose"
    - "never he"
    - "a small portraits"
    - "cross out his drawings."
    - "The man find"
    - "the pecil or fewer of he not very sad pencil was"


    Hello Geraldine, I really liked your story, it is very touching and moving besides funny.
    It was interesting how you could include the elements so naturally and with a great sense of creativity.

    I think MInencio is a great artist and he is similar to many people I know, people who think they don't have abilities but in fact, they do.

    1. Character = Good description of Minencio's characteristics.
    2. Challenge = OK
    3. Motivation = Very touching motivation
    4. Setting = You described really well the place
    5. Obstacles = You focused on the obstacles perfectly
    6. Climax = It's a good story but the climax is not what I was expecting because everything happened without taking the reader to a real anxiety.
    7. Ending = Very elegant :)


    PS: I love the drawing of the Eiffel Tower ^^

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  4. Correction:
    -"Driver choose": Diver chose
    -"Never he": Never chose him.
    -"a small portraits": a small portrait
    -"The man find": the man found
    - "the pecil or fewer of he not very sad pencil was": was left of the pencil that was no more sad.

    But, teacher, I dont understand the mistake of the last sentence, for that I change the meaning.
    ^^

    ReplyDelete