THE LAST
DRAWING PATH
A sad
evening of a sad Friday in the parking lot, just in front of the Eiffel Tower, in
a car and forgotten in the darkest of the glove had a little sad pencil was
called Minencio. His
routine was overwhelmingly boring, and was for this reason that the small Minencio was
sad; Minencio
expected every morning hoping that the driver used him, but always for some
reason the driver choose the Sir Pen, and even Miss Coquette pen, never he.
The sad
Minencio ever felt more desolate and helpless watching the beautiful Eiffel
Tower that was his only companion; always marveled at the greatness and
incredible design so perfect and promised himself that sometime be as good as
the designer pencil that created to Miss
Eiffel, but despite everything he promised, the driver never would use.... For
this reason he started drawing on a napkin a small portraits of the Eiffel
Tower, but all left him badly for lack of support to help him and he despairing, cross out his drawings.
A sad
Saturday morning, Mr. Pen noting the desperation of the Sad Minencio decided to
approach him and watched with admiration the great drawings so carefully to
Minencio, but whenever it was wrong for the slightest mistake simply ripped him. Mr. Pen, offended whenever Minencio
damaged sketch, came to him and rebuked him, telling that he had the power to
correct their mistakes, while for finer pens that they were not. Minencio realizing first in the eraser
that he had in his head decided to use this, however he still lack the support
the one hand to guide him. So spend all their sad weekend,
drawing and erasing and drawing again wearing out and literally running out
more and fainting at the end. The man find a nice drawing of
the Eiffel tower on the floor of his car and was surprised when saw that was
missing the tip and decided to finish it. He knew that if he used a pen,
the mistaken could not fix and reminded the poor sad pencil Minencio that he
had in his glove.
In a not very sad
Monday morning, very early, the driver frantically searched the depths of the
glove, groping blindly without finding what he wanted, but the pecil or fewer of
he not very sad pencil was, with the rapid pulse knew that what the diver wanted was him. With his latest effort, but with
the helping hand of the driver finally finished the beautiful drawing of the
Eiffel Tower, making practically a work of art, which will last forever in the
memory of Minencio, who with his last drawing path wrote in part below the
paper "Made By Minencio"

haha your story is very witty and the name of the pencil is very funny ... I really liked your story ^^
ReplyDelete"Mr. Pen" Jajaja what name, i loved the drawing and also the story, was creative, and teh Eiffel tower (OMG!!!)
ReplyDeleteMIstakes:
ReplyDelete- "driver choose"
- "never he"
- "a small portraits"
- "cross out his drawings."
- "The man find"
- "the pecil or fewer of he not very sad pencil was"
Hello Geraldine, I really liked your story, it is very touching and moving besides funny.
It was interesting how you could include the elements so naturally and with a great sense of creativity.
I think MInencio is a great artist and he is similar to many people I know, people who think they don't have abilities but in fact, they do.
1. Character = Good description of Minencio's characteristics.
2. Challenge = OK
3. Motivation = Very touching motivation
4. Setting = You described really well the place
5. Obstacles = You focused on the obstacles perfectly
6. Climax = It's a good story but the climax is not what I was expecting because everything happened without taking the reader to a real anxiety.
7. Ending = Very elegant :)
PS: I love the drawing of the Eiffel Tower ^^
Correction:
ReplyDelete-"Driver choose": Diver chose
-"Never he": Never chose him.
-"a small portraits": a small portrait
-"The man find": the man found
- "the pecil or fewer of he not very sad pencil was": was left of the pencil that was no more sad.
But, teacher, I dont understand the mistake of the last sentence, for that I change the meaning.
^^