NANIS *-* THE SINGER POPSICLE
Once upon a time a popsicle,
sweet and talented called
Nanis. When it was small, his parents narrated that
in a
opsicle´s life there are two options: 1. Wait that the destiny carry it
to the big human´s mouth. 2. Melt in the loneliness.
It grew up and understood that its destiny
wasn´t that, it was for big proyects. A day it discovered that it had a big
talent and was sing, everyday ir sang and sang, but the people said it that was
impossible reach anyone with its talent. Altought it had many downs, showed to people that it
could.
A headhunter listened
its voice and decided hire it for big performances in the world. They started
making shows in Sidney, later in the camp nou stadium and the final its
performace biggest in the berlin wall. Everyone listened Nanis, they cried and
cried but its beautiful voice didn´t let that melt because it sang with its
heart.
So, Nanis never
believed that its father said, but it believe itself, it believed that the
dreams aren´t things that can´t not do.
Hahaha awwn "Nanis" really I liked the name. *o*
ReplyDeleteMistakes:
ReplyDelete- "in a opsicle´s life"
- "proyects"
- "and was sing"
- "impossible reach"
- "Altought"
- "decided hire"
- "camp nou "
- "the final its performace biggest in the berlin wall"
- "didn´t let that melt"
- "believed that its father"
- "things that can´t not do"
Mr Camilo, I have to say that you have surprised me with your last oral and written presentations. The story is really good, kinda short but with a good content.
Nanis is a brave popsicle and you proved that impossible things may happen if you do everything with your heart.
1. Character = You didn't describe Nanis a lot.
2. Challenge = Well explained.
3. Motivation = I think this part was very important in your story, because Nanis needed a lot of motivaton to reach her goal.
4. Setting = You could describe it more.
5. Obstacles = Nanis had a lot of obstacles to become a recognized singer, very good!
6. Climax = As your story is very short, you didn't take the reader to the climax because the situation was very simple.
7. Ending = Great message, very positive.
I hope you continue improving your level, very good Mr. Camilo!!!
in a popsicle's life
ReplyDeleteprojects
that was sing
Although
performance