This is a story of a humble ant dedicated, employee and enterprising called Kathleen. This lived with a group of ten ants in a treehouse and it not was just because they wanted to but because a very high place to see any situation that happen and veiled for the security of the ants of Hormigoland.
One day this group of ants firefighters felt very tired for their hardwork and effort that decided to leave this humble work and make something that really all Hormigoland recognize them forever, leaving just to the little but enthusiastic ant Kathleen.
When the summer arrives someone dropped a magnifier in Hormigoland, that caused a terrible fire in the big treehouse of the ant queen, immediately Kathleen to be alone at the situation, took courage and went to turn off the fire, without worrying that she was on fire, she saved the queen ant and with waterdrops, she turn off the fire in the treehouse.
The queen ant grateful to her dedication to his work inmense and for his courage, honored with a gold medal for his heroic action, and she became the head firefighter in Hormigoland.
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| By: Stefanny Rodriguez. |
I really love the name of the ant, haha. I liked, is so cute and the ant is so generous.
ReplyDeleteI know, Kathleen is a beautiful name, right Kathleen?
ReplyDeleteMistakes:
- "it not was just because"
- "that happen and veiled"
- "of ants firefighters"
- "When the summer arrives"
- "immediately Kathleen to be alone at the situation"
- " she turn off the fire"
- "The queen ant grateful"
- "to his work inmense and for his courage"
- "for his heroic action"
I have to say that Kathleen is a really brave ant, she was on fire and she rescued the queen, wow !!!!!
Your challenge Steffany is to correct the mistakes I recognized in your story, you Don't have to re-post the story, you only have to reply to this comment and tell me how you would change the mistakes.
1. Character = Good description of the character.
2. Challenge = OK
3. Motivation = There wasn't a real motivation, it was a complicated situation that she solved.
4. Setting = OK
5. Obstacles = OK
6. Climax = The climax was good, you could have developed a little bit more.
7. Ending = Good message.
Great story with a positive message and a beautiful drawing at the end :)
Correction:
ReplyDelete-"It was not just because"
-That happened and veiled"
-"Of firefighters ants"
-"When the summer arrived"
-"immediately Kathleen feel alone at the situation"
-"She turned off the fire"
-"The queen ant was grateful"
-"To her work immense and for her courage"
-"For her heroic action"